


Tell me this is just a dream ('cause I'm really not fine at all)

by CallmeVee



Series: Mitchsen Week 2019 [1]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Day 1, F/F, I'm so not sorry, Mitchsen Week, Secret Relationship, ansgt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 11:40:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18810160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallmeVee/pseuds/CallmeVee
Summary: Amnesia:Noun (am-nee-zhuh)Loss of a large block of interrelated memories; complete or partial loss of memory caused by brain injury, shock, etc.





	Tell me this is just a dream ('cause I'm really not fine at all)

**Author's Note:**

> MITCHSEN WEEK IS FINALLY HEEEERE!!!!!!!!!! 
> 
> Bare with me and enjoy the ride, yeah?

It's been two weeks since Beca had the clear to leave the hospital. Two weeks in which Aubrey was teleported to an alternative universe where Beca wasn't her girlfriend but her best friend and current roommate.

And Aubrey was okay with the lie at the beginning. Who wouldn't prefer that rather than sit back and watch the love of their lives go away because they were suffering from selective amnesia? But now that had become her personal purgatory, for lack of a better word. And the only thing holding her there was the promise she did to Beca -to themselves, really- of never giving up. But she was only human and this shit hurt like hell.

 

“How are you doing?” 

Aubrey laughed something bitter at her friend. “I'm trying my best.”

“I know that. But how are you? How are you feeling?” Chloe found her hand and squeezed it.

“I feel… confused,” she admitted. “It's been two weeks, Chloe. She should remember by now.”

“I'm sure she will, but sometimes it takes time. You just have to hold onto the happy moments, Bree. You have to get the strength from them,” Chloe encouraged with that sweet smile of hers. 

 

And Aubrey wanted to believe her. Dammit, she wanted to believe her so bad. But no matter how much she replayed those happy moments in her mind, the hole in her heart was growing bigger and bigger with each day that passed and she went to an empty bed every night while her girlfriend was a few feet apart in the guest room moving on with her life while she was left trying to keep the pieces of her heart together with cheap glue.

 

“I want her back,” she murmured. “Please, Chloe. I want my girlfriend back.”

“I know sweetie. Everything will fall back into place.” Chloe hugged her and Aubrey let herself cry. She was safe in the redhead’s arms. Though those arms weren’t the ones she needed. These arms holding her weren’t Beca’s.

  
  


********

 

“Hey, Bree,” Beca greeted cheekily from the kitchen.

“What did you do?” 

“Why would you think I did something?”

“Because we’re talking about you. And…” Aubrey paused and smelled the air around her. “Is that… Oh, my God. You didn’t.” Aubrey ran towards the brunette but caught herself before committing her purpose.  _ “She doesn’t remember,”  _ Aubrey said to herself. “Wait, you cooked my favorite. So let me ask you again. What did you do?”

Beca bit her lower lip and her mouth opened and closed like a fish.

“Becaaaa.” Amnesia or not, she still had an effect on the brunette. That, if the way she squared her shoulders were proof about.

“It was an accident! I swear!” Beca stepped back at the same time Aubrey stepped forward.

“Let me reformulate, then,” Aubrey inspired deeply counting to ten. “What did you break?”

“Your headphones?” Beca said in a silent voice.

“Please, tell me it wasn’t the wireless ones,” Aubrey pleaded.

“I already ordered a new pair. Same color and all!” Beca rushed to explain but the damage was already done.

“What the hell, Beca? And what were you doing with them anyway?” Aubrey’s breath became heavy and her palms started to sweat.

“They’re just headphones,” Beca tried to calm her friend.

“They were a treasure, Beca! You knew it!” Aubrey couldn’t believe this was happening. 

“And I’m sorry, okay?” Beca’s voice leveled her own. “I forgot mines at work and I thought you wouldn’t mind me using them.”

“I… I’m not hungry,” Aubrey whispered and turned away ignoring Beca’s calling.

 

It was too much to handle. Those headphones were something she treasured with her soul.

 

_ “You know we set a budget for the gifts, right?” Aubrey inspected the box Beca just gave her. _

_ “There wasn't anything that would represent our first year together, babe,” Beca smiled that sly smile of hers and Aubrey was too deep in love. “Besides, I know you wanted them.” Beca kissed her nose. _

_ With eager hands, Aubrey opened the gift and she had to muffle a cry at what was inside. “Oh, my God, Beca!” Aubrey threw herself at the brunette’s arms. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” she repeated peppering her face with kisses while Beca laughed freely. “I love you.” _

_ “I love you too, Blondie.” Beca grabbed the wireless headphones and settled them on Aubrey’s head. “Yup, best purchase ever,” she smiled at that megawatt smile that had captivated her heart time ago. _

  
  
  
  


 

How hard could be to find a sweater? Beca had thrown up her closet searching for it, but the motherfucker was still missing. It wasn’t like it grew legs and walked away. And she was sure it was somewhere inside this apartment. But the laundry was empty and the only other place…  _ “Aubrey” _ . The blonde had developed a habit of wearing Beca’s clothes randomly -or at least the ones that fitted her.

Marching towards her roommate’s closet, Beca remembered herself to take note of how everything was placed. Just in case she had to throw upside down her closet too. But the sweater had become the last of her worries when a certain box called her attention. And she was too nosy to ignore it. Much more if it could give her clues about Aubrey’s behavior. The blonde had become colder towards her and Beca knew there had to be a reason. Aubrey always had a reason.

But the more she tried to understand the contents of the box, the more confused she got. Why would Aubrey hide a picture of them both? Yes, it may be a little too intimate, but…

 

“What are you doing here?” Beca jumped at the voice.

“I… I was searching for my sweater,” she explained shyly.

“That doesn’t look like a sweater, Beca.” The brunette flinched at the way her name was pronounced. “Why are you prying my stuff?”

“I… I’m sorry,” Beca felt how her body became smaller by the way Aubrey’s eyes were scrutinizing her. 

“You have no right to go through my things without permission.” Really? Was she being serious now?

“I do when there are pictures of me and the both of us together,” she showed her the one she had in her hands.

“Those are still my stuff,” Aubrey snatched the picture off Beca’s hand.

“What aren’t you telling me? And please, don't lie,” she hated how broken her voice sounded.

“I can't.” All the angriness Aubrey's voice held disappeared in those two words confusing her.

“I'm trying to understand, Aubrey. Don't you think I know people look pitifully at me? So bare with me and tell me why the hell you have these pictures hidden in a box.”

“Please Beca, don't do this,” Aubrey begged and Beca felt anger rising inside her. “I… I can't do this.”

“I don't care if you can't. You will tell me whatever the hell I'm missing out and you will do it now.” She couldn't help clenching her fists. This was escalating very quickly and she could implode at any moment now.

  
  


Why? How could she explain this to her without breaking down? Worst yet, how could she explain it without Beca freaking out? 

 

“Aubrey,” Beca warned in that voice she used only when she was losing patience and Aubrey couldn't stop the fear that took over her. This was just too much for her and she… she needed to run. 

 

She wanted to tell Beca the truth, really, but she was shitless scared of the possible outcomes. Even more when in every single one of them Beca didn't reciprocate her feelings and left her alone without looking back.

Yes, she was being a selfish bitch by not telling her the truth, but what was the point when she knew for a fact she couldn't live without the brunette?

 

So she ran. She ran until her legs hurt and the burning in her chest was unbearable. Just in time, a guttural scream escaped her lips fuelling the tears running down her face. She couldn't lose her. She couldn’t let go the only thing that made her better.

Her life before Beca was some shitty monotonous loop in which all that matter to her was to be the best at everything she did and to make others proud. Perfection was the only thing she knew all her life. But then Beca came and turned her world upside down in such exquisite way that no matter her buttons were pushed, the buttheading they both entertained became what nurtured their love. The fire she felt inside her whenever Beca antagonized her, turned to the fuel that made her heart beat.

Beca was the one that showed her what being truly happy meant. Beca was the one that encouraged her to be different; to be her real self. And while most of her passions remained the same, the way she saw life changed showing her a whole new palette that was so much beautiful... And that was something she owed only to Beca.

 

“Stop running,” Aubrey felt cold flowing through her veins. How did she find her?

  
  
  


 

_ “What the…” _ Beca frowned at the now empty space in front of her. Why did she keep running? What was so bad Aubrey couldn’t tell her? She walked back to the box and inspected the pictures again. More careful, even. And then is when she saw it. At the very bottom of the box.

She couldn’t explain what prompted it, but she took the picture and left the apartment. To where? She didn’t know. Well, she kind of did; just that the idea was foreign to her. And she didn’t feel like questioning it. She only knew she had to find Aubrey. Now.

 

Okay, maybe she should had to take cardio in consideration if running behind Aubrey will become a thing now. The pauses she had to do denoted how out of shape she was. Only if her car wasn’t in reparation... But everything was worth it when the scenery in front of her took her attention.

 

She remembered it somehow, but it never failed to take her breath away.

  
  


“Stop running.” It was the first thing that escaped her mouth when she was close enough to be heard. 

“How did you find me?” Beca didn’t miss the tears on Aubrey’s face and her heart crushed down.

“I don’t know. I just knew I had to run,” she explained walking slowly to sit down beside her best friend. “Talk to me?” she asked softly.

 

She waited for a response, but Aubrey decided to be quiet so she didn’t have another choice than to wait. She had all the time, after all. But after a few too long minutes, she decided to go for a different approach. 

 

“Take your time,” she said passing the picture in her hands to Aubrey. She was dying inside to understand once and for all. But with Aubrey was always in her terms.

“Fucking God.” Beca heard the pain in the voice and all she wanted to do was to reassure Aubrey that everything would be okay. But the words didn’t come.

  
  


 

“You were in a robbery a month ago.” Aubrey paused trying to regain all the strength she could. “Nothing bad happened to you physically. But somehow the shock of the moment made you forget about us.” There. She said it. She couldn’t hold the sobs that broke the calmness. “You… you have selective amnesia.”

 

The pain in her chest grew thousand times bigger now the more Beca remained silent.

 

“Why keep it a secret?” she spoke tiredly.

“We didn’t know how your brain could have reacted to it.”

“So you thought that leaving me thinking we were just friend was better?” Aubrey felt her body in flames now that Beca was staring at her.

“Didn’t you ever think for a fucking second how I was feeling being in the dark?” It wasn’t angriness what Beca’s words held. It was something  _ sad _ . “Didn’t you ever think that you deserved better?”

 

There was the Beca she loved. Beca had always put Aubrey before herself. Of course, she would care for Aubrey’s feelings instead of hers.

 

“I prefer that than you walking away from my life,” Aubrey had given up cleaning her tears a long time ago.

“I would never walk away, Aubrey.” Beca took her hands. “I won’t lie and say I remember us because that’s not true. And you deserve better, anyways.” Aubrey wanted to scream, she wanted to explode from all the pain she was feeling inside. But instead, she listened.

“I’ll work my hardest to make it happen. But I need your help,” Aubrey leaned towards the hand on her cheek. “I need you by my side to  _ remember _ .”

 

Just then, she had the courage to look at Beca. And the devotion she found in those deep blues were enough to ignite something inside her. It may be the hardest thing she’ll ever do, but even if Beca didn’t remember, she’ll make her fall in love again. After all, every true love was meant to be forever. 


End file.
